President Obama visits New York's Macy's Thanksgiving parade and gives New Yorkers a treat

President Obama while attending the Macy’s parade received such accolades from the adoring New York City liberal crowd that soon his head began to swell and he started to float above the parade. A quick thinking parade organizer used ropes to tether the floating Obama and the crowd got a real treat when Obama joined the parade, much to the delight of his liberal admirers. The floating Obama was such a hit that the parade organizers are considering including Oprah in next years parade, if she don’t gain too much weight.

BEST BUY DITCHES CHRISTMAS BUT CELEBRATES MUSLIM HOLIDAY IN FLIERS

Will Christmas caroling be replaced with Ramadan caroling? “Over the river and through the woods to bomb infidels we go. Muhammad knows the way and just who to slay, as over the hills we go.”and don't forget that other holiday favorite- “Deck the infidels with bomb of plenty, Fa hala hala, hala hala……Tis the season to kill many Fa hala hala, hala hala……”

For more go here,

http://biggovernment.com/2009/11/27/best-buy-ditches-christmas-but-celebrates-muslim-holiday-in-fliers/

Astronaut says Mexico needs its own space program

MEXICO CITY -- A NASA astronaut says he wants to help Mexican officials start the country's first space agency.
Astronaut Jose Hernandez says he has no plans to leave his job at NASA, but hopes to help Mexico's program get off the ground.
Hernandez, the U.S.-born son of Mexican migrant farm workers who spent much of his childhood moving between Mexico and the U.S., lobbied for a space program in meetings with Mexican lawmakers Tuesday.

OBAMA CONTINUES TO FIDDLE WHILE AFGHANISTAN BURNS

DOCTOR HACKENABUSH DIAGNOSES LIBERALS

It’s a clear case of “Munchausen by Proxy”. You see, Munchausen by proxy syndrome (MBPS) involves the exaggeration or fabrication of problems. In, Munchausen by proxy syndrome the liberal deliberately makes problems in society or convinces others that there is a problem with society by lying and reporting fictitious episodes. He or she may exaggerate, fabricate, or even induce symptoms. In this way the liberal seeks attention and pushes their socialistic agenda. These people are very sick and must be confined to a mental institute immediately.

Time to out bribe the bribers

Unless the 60 Democrats united, Harry Reid couldn’t pass the cloture vote planned. One of the two Senators who couldn’t make up her mind was the Democratic Senator from the state of Louisiana, Senator Mary Landrieu.Harry Reid discussed the issue with her. A deal was made. A 100 million dollar bribe using tax payer money was the deal that would get the “Yes” vote from Senator Mary Landrieu. It was agreed that her state, Louisiana, would get approximately 100 million dollars in Medicaid subsidy , using tax payer money. A special and extremely “Louisiana specific” section was included in the 2000 plus paged health care bill. The section could be found on page 432 of the bill. The section was so smartly worded that none of the other 50 states, but Louisiana, would get the 100 million dollar subsidy. Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu made up her mind, and said she will vote “Yes” for passing the Nov 21st Healthcare cloture. Harry Reid got her critical vote, thanks to the 100 million dollar bribe.

Stopthepresses is willing to contribute $20 to a "bribe Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu" fund. With enough money we can buy back her vote. Who will join us?

Step right up folks, no need to push there's plenty of product for everyone.

I am here to save the world friend and that's just what I aim to do neighbor. Will you help me friend? Do your small part for your world and your children. For the low price of $1 friend. Yes! let me repeat, only $1, you can save the world with Al Gore's Anti-Global Warming Oil. Buy it now good people before it's too late. The snakes are drying out fast friend and do you know why? It's Global Warming neighbor. Rub my Anti- Global Warming Oil on any dried up snake you happen see and bring him back to life friend. Remember we are all stewards of the land friend. We must help the creatures that can't help themselves. Can't find a dried up snake you say. Then just drink this miracle elixir and get stewed yourself friend, so you'll be able to look at and live with your wife friend. Remember neighbor, I have here in my possession, a testimonial from Bill Clinton himself, on how my miracle elixir has help him live with Hillary all these years. Step right up folks. No need to push friends.

Galileo's Missing Fingers Found

Two fingers and a tooth removed from Galileo's corpse by the astronomer's 18th-century admirers have resurfaced for the first time in a century. The digits, preserved in an unmarked glass jar, were bought at auction by a man who realized who they belonged to; he donated them to Museum of the History of Science in Florence, which already has another one of Galileo's fingers on display. Next on the man's agenda the search for Obama's balls.

CHICAGOANS HOLD PROTEST TO HAVE THEIR VOICES HEARD

Millions of Cribs Recalled

Obama upon hearing the news immediately called a press conference stating, “I am calling for a new housing market stimulus bill, to help all the inner-city folks who are having their cribs recalled. We as a nation can not allow these folk to have their houses foreclosed on.”

Stopthepresses psychics (psycho chics) using crystal balls and ancient Chinese letter fortune telling puzzles expose Obama and predict next President

In ancient Chinese when something alien to you, always drop first letter and add alien. Then add first letter to alien.

.
President Obama – P =
Resident Obama + alien =
Resident Alien Obama

.
Finally Grasshopper you add P+alien=
Palien

NOT PRESIDENT OBAMA

BUT RESIDENT ALIEN OBAMA

Detroit A Democrat Success Story

Lowlights from the Times On LIne Story Unburied bodies tell the tale of Detroit — a city in despair

.

* The abandoned corpses, in white body bags with number tags tied to each toe, lie one above the other on steel racks inside a giant freezer in Detroit’s central mortuary, like discarded shoes in the back of a wardrobe.

.

* Unburied bodies piling up in the city mortuary — it reached 70 earlier this year — is the latest and perhaps most appalling indignity to be heaped on the people of Detroit. The motor city that once boasted the highest median income and home ownership rate in the US is today in the midst of a long and agonising death spiral.

.

*After years of gross mismanagement by the city’s leaders Detroit today has an unemployment rate of 28 per cent, higher even than the worst years of the Great Depression.

*The murder rate is soaring. The school system is in receivership. The city treasury is $300 million (£182m) short of the funds needed to provide the most basic services such as rubbish collection.

.

*Thousands of houses are abandoned, roofs ripped off, windows smashed. Block after block of shopping districts lie boarded up. Former manufacturing plants, such as the giant Fisher body plant that made Buicks and Cadillacs, but which was abandoned in 1991, are rotting.

JUDGE THE CONSERVATIVE BOOK BY ITS COVER

JUST PUT A COVER ON THE LIBERAL BOOK

Brick thrown through window of WGN radio studio

A woman screaming about Chicago school board president Michael Scott took a brick out of a bright red gift bag and threw it through the window of the WGN-AM studio on the first floor of the Tribune Tower on Michigan Avenue, according to police and witnesses.The woman, wearing a shirt and a piece of fabric around her waist, then walked out onto Michigan Avenue, sat down and placed a Traffic cone on her head and started screaming "George Bush is trying to send radio signals into my head!" Two Chicago Aldermen sensing a Democratic voter in their mist, immediately showed up on the scene to sign her up for the "Hope and Change Campaign."

In Piling On Palin, Liberals Make Fools of Themselves

Ahhh.... make more of a fool of themselves.

Fort Hood Suspect Feared He Had HIV Or Blame Everything But Jihad.

He also feared FBI, CIA, ABC, NBC, CBS, DDT, Global Warming, Global Cooling, The Globe Trotters, The Globe, Al Gore, Al, Bundy, Al Franken, Ella Fitzgearld, and so on, and so on……..

Eggos in Short Supply, But No Shortages of Egos

Kellogg is rationing supplies around the nation and may continue to do so well into next year. The trouble stems from problems at two of four bakeries. On another note the President seems to have plenty of ego to go around.

NEWSREEK ATTACKS DEMOCRATIC WOMEN TOO

JESSE JACKSON ADDRESSES OBAMACARE AND THE BLACK COMMUNITY

I am sending a shout out to all black men

Don't be forgetin
be rememberin

You can be Bill Clinton
The first black white man
But you can’t…
Vote against health care
And be a black man

You can be the President
And not be born an American
But you can’t….
Vote against health care
And be a black man

You can dance all stiff
To your favorite jam
But you can’t…
Vote against health care
And be a black man

.

You can even play in a
Country band
But you can’t…
Vote against health care
And be a black man

You can play basketball
And not be able to slam
But you can’t…
Vote against health care
And be a black man

You can eat chitterlings
With green eggs and ham
But you can’t…
Vote against health care
And be a black man

You can yell yea haw
The South shall rise again
But you can’t…
Vote against health care
And be a black man

You can even be
A damn Republican
But you can’t…
Vote against health care
And call yourself a black man

Sam I am

Chicago's Mayor Daley defends Scott's credit card use for Olympics costs, ah... we think?

Mayor Richard Daley today defended Chicago Board of Education President Michael Scott's use of a school district credit card to pay for a trip to Copenhagen to lobby for the city's Olympics bid."There's nothing wrong with that, it's all about education, you want the children to have education, everyone wants that." the mayor said when asked about the Tribune report.

Scott, a Daley loyalist, died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head early Monday next to a River North bridge. Police have not found any note, and the motive for his suicide is unknown. Scott charged about $3,000 for his trip, which included a stay with his wife at the 71 Nyhavn, a four-star hotel on the Copenhagen waterfront from Sept. 29 until Oct. 3. While Scott went to Copenhagen on behalf of Daley's Olympics bid team, his costs were not paid by the private group. Instead, he charged his airfare, hotel room, meals and bar tab to his expense account at the school board.

Chicago aldermen approve resolution aimed at helping drunk driver avoid deportation

The Chicago City Council today approved a resolution urging passage of federal legislation that would allow some undocumented immigrant students to earn conditional residency. The local tie to the issue is the case of Rigoberto Padilla, who faces deportation to Mexico next month. Padilla was pulled over for suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol, convicted of a misdemeanor and given court supervision. Authorities reported him to the Department of Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Padilla faces deportation Dec. 16.

"I do want to stay in this country and drive drunk around this country. I consider this country my home," Padilla said at a news conference prior to today's City Council meeting. Mother's Against Drunk Driving where are you? Time to get MADD.

Hari Kari an ancient Japanese suicide ritual

were one commits suicide by stabbing oneself in the stomach, finds new Chicago version.

Harry Caray The Chicago version

In this version of Chicago ritual suicide, you kill yourself by stabbing yourself in the back. You then fall into the Chicago River while wearing cement shoes.

Chicago School Board President Michael Scott's Suicide Note Found.

Because of the bad grammar and misspellings the note is deemed, by the Chicago Police, to be written in the manner of a Chicago Public School student and thereby, authentic.

ONLY IN CHICAGO

The death of Chicago School Board President Michael Scott was ruled a suicide this afternoon by the Cook County Medical Examiner's office. He died of a gunshot wound to the head, officials said.

Let's review Michael Scott being right handed shot himself in the left temple. He then fell into the Chicago river with the gun found under his body. Hmmm.........

This one has to rank up there with, "He stabbed himself in the back, it's a clear case of suicide."

French Hotel Lets You Live Like a Hamster

Meanwhile, the U.S. government tries to force you to live like a hamster.

Paterson Rips Obama for Putting 9/11 Trials in NYC

Stating, "Damn even I can see it's a bad idea."

Boomers Enjoy New 'Whatever' 'Tude on Pot

Aging baby boomers are not only boosting the ranks of older pot smokers, they're enjoying a kind of neo Age of Aquarius of relaxed attitudes toward one of their favorite habits. The number of marijuana smokers in the 50-59 age group has doubled over the past decade, according to statistics. "There's gotten to be greater tolerance, that's for sure," said one toker, 62. "I know hundreds of people my age who smoke. They are upright citizens, good parents who are holding down jobs. You know man all except the buying drugs illegally and setting a bad example for your children stuff dude. Yeah, I know the drug gangs fight over drug territory and kill each other and innocent men, women and children and it a bummer man, but why should I think about it and give myself a bad trip dude?"

Plastics 'Feminizing' Baby Boys

Pregnant women's exposure to plastics is "feminizing" the baby boys they give birth to, researchers have found.

Research continues on what role exposure to the feminist movement, the gay movement and political correctness plays in feminizing baby boys.